Diary of a Dieter Read online

  “Let’s get a drink.”

  I nodded and made my way over to the large, antique mahogany bar. A young woman was standing behind it, resting her elbows on the counter. Her bright red lipstick, blonde hair, and thick black eye make-up made her look as though she had just waltzed out of a ‘70s porno. What is it with porn and me lately? Does everything have to make me think of sex?

  Adam tapped his hand on the bar in front of her, and she abruptly stood up and beamed at him. Her bright white teeth had smears of lipstick on them, and I noticed Adam trying not to stare. He ordered my usual and a beer for himself, and we located a table not far from the stage. The wailing woman had finally come to the end of her song, and I was sure I heard the entire bar let out a long sigh of relief. Sitting at our small round table, I glided my fingers up and down my glass, collecting the tiny droplets of condensation as I did so.

  Another willing victim climbed up on stage, and the music of Ben. E King’s “Stand By Me” started up. I rolled my eyes. Why does everyone always choose a ballad or slow song? Glancing at the stage, Adam too rolled his eyes.

  “Great, another wailer with a broken heart.”

  I laughed lightly. “It’s Sunday night. Who else it at these places on a Sunday? The winos, drunks, and heartbroken saps of London.”

  He raised an eyebrow and smiled. “And what category do we fit into?”

  I thought for a moment before answering. “The desperately seeking normalcy.”

  He nodded lightly and looked down at his glass before picking it up and taking a long gulp. He pointed at my half empty glass. “Another?”

  I quickly finished my drink and handed him the glass. “Sure. Thanks.”

  It was going to take a hell of a lot more vodka-cranberries ‘til I would begin to feel more comfortable at this rate. Turning around, I watched as Adam approached the bar. The tramp behind it was twirling her hair and fluttering her eyelashes at him. Dear God woman, have some restraint. He’s a customer, not a conquest. Pressing his palms down on the bar, Adam leaned forward to her ear. I watched as she giggled and swatted playfully at his arm. She couldn’t have been more obvious. She walked away to get his order, and when she returned, I noticed a couple more buttons on her shirt had accidentally fallen open. Her white lacy bra was now fluorescent white under the glare of the UV laps that hung on the ceiling. She was ridiculous. Surly she didn’t think he was interested in a woman who flaunted herself so outwardly.

  She placed her hand on his as he handed over some cash. He was smiling at her and speaking animatedly. As she brought him his change, she handed him a small piece of paper. Taking a quick look before slipping it into his pocket, Adam winked at her, took our drinks, and headed back over. He placed my drink in front of me and smiled broadly.

  “What was that all about?” I asked.

  The corner of his mouth curved up. “Nothing. Janine was just offering me something that wasn’t on the menu. I told her I’d take a rain check.”

  I cringed. “So that was her number you were slipping into your pocket?”

  He pulled out the small piece of paper and handed it to me to read—which I did, twice, and continued to cringe as I did so. “Call me when you want to play doctor.” Was she serious? How cliché and completely tacky. He wasn’t considering it, surely.

  “Are you going to call her?”

  He sipped his drink and smiled. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

  I shoved the piece of paper back into his outstretched hand before picking up my drink and swallowing the whole lot. The music stopped and the mic sat lonely on an empty stage. I needed some fun, and I needed some damn good music!

  Standing abruptly, I got on stage and selected my song from the touch screen list. Adam sat at our table, shaking his head and grinning. The song was one of my favorites. Back when I was in college, and Adam in medical school, we had all gone for a wild night on the town. From sundown to sunrise we were drinking, dancing, and singing. Loudly. Anyway, knowing I was a huge Billy Idol fan, Adam had arranged a surprise for me. As the clock struck nine, Dana and Ness blindfolded me and crammed me into a car. I hadn’t giggled so much in years.

  When I was finally released and the blindfold removed, I was standing outside one of the biggest arenas in London. Adam stood in front of me with four tickets to a Billy Idol Greatest Hits concert. I screamed so loud, I was sure the entire stadium heard me. It was an amazing night. We drank far too much—sang, danced, and yelled for three hours before heading to the nearest bar to begin our pub-crawl back home. I was trashed. Completely hammered, we clambered into a small bar in South London, we were thrilled to discover it had a karaoke machine. The four of us immediately hopped on stage and belted out a Billy Idol classic—the same one that I was about to revive all over again. I wanted to revel in the memory of my friends, friendships, and squash the unsettling jealousy that had settled in my stomach. He wasn’t mine. We were friends. That was all. Janine had every right to hop on board the Adam bus. I just hoped he wouldn’t offer her the opportunity.

  The tune to “Rebel Yell” started, and Adam’s grin widened. His eyes sparkled up at me as the disco ball above my head began to spin. Grabbing the mic, I sang my heart out. I lost myself in the music and allowed myself to get totally carried away. When it finished, the whole bar cheered loudly, and I took a bow in jest. Adam was on his feet, too, cheering, whistling, and offering his hand for me to hold while climbing down from the stage.

  “I love that song!” he yelled at me over the sound of people clapping.

  “Me too! Do you remember—“

  “That concert!” he interrupted. “Of course I do! It was the most fun I have ever had in my life.”

  I beamed at him. “I had the biggest hangover of my life the next day. I must have drunk my liver into a stupor!”

  He smiled and handed me another drink. I hadn’t even noticed he had gone back to the bar during my performance, but considering my mouth was now as dry as the Sahara, I didn’t care.

  “I’m buzzing! We should go somewhere! I wanna dance!” I was bouncing on my heels. Adam laughed.

  “Sure thing, Dancing Queen. Where do you wanna go?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe we could ask someone?”

  Taking my hand, he pulled me over to the bar and gestured for Janine to come over. Her cleavage and perky boobs bounced like jello as she wiggled over.

  “Come to take me up on my offer?” Her lips pressed together, and I could see the bleed of her lipstick. Attractive, dear. Really. I mentally rolled my eyes but continued to smile. Adam gave her an awkward smile before glancing at me. “Actually, we were wondering if you knew anywhere that’s open for dancing. A club or something?”

  She was practically leering at him! Had this woman no shame at all?

  “There’s a place a couple of streets over. It’s always open. It’s kind of retro, though. If you don’t mind seventies stuff, then it’s pretty cool. Goes on all night, and the drinks are pretty cheap.”

  Pulling Adam’s hand, I urged him to hurry up.

  “Thanks, doll.” He grinned at her, and she looked like the cat who had gotten the cream. It was sickening. Really, it was.

  When we got outside, Adam was laughing loudly.

  “You really wanna go and dance?”

  I gave him a puzzled look.

  “Come on, Charlie. I know exactly what you’re doing. You’re on a high, I’m on a high, and you’re scared to be alone with me.”

  The thought hadn’t crossed my mind, but he wasn’t wrong. I was afraid to be alone with him. I wasn’t sure I could control myself. But he didn’t have to know that. “Ha! You wish, stud. You’re not that irresistible.”

  He shook his head and snickered. “Okay. If you say so. Let’s dance.”

  * * * *

  Janine had one thing right; it was a cool place. In fact, so many people thought so that it was full to the brim with bodies. Some were dressed in theme with afro wigs, flares, and platform shoes while others, li
ke myself and Adam, were clearly there for the music rather than the theme. And speaking of music, it was disco. Classic, 1970s disco—Bee Gee’s, Bay City Rollers, David Cassidy, and many more. I was in heaven. The three vodka and cranberries were warming my blood, and as Adam’s hand brushed mine, I knew I needed another, fast!

  Making a beeline for the bar, I ordered my drink plus five shots of Jack Daniel’s each for Adam and me. He sniffed at the brown liquid before winking and tossing back each and every one in a row. I tried to keep up, but the more I drank, the more my throat burned. Wincing, I looked up at Adam through blurry eyes. I coughed and spluttered. Adam was bent over laughing at me.

  “It’s not funny. I used to be able to down at least ten of these things in a row. What happened?”

  He patted my arm, and his laugh was now a soft chuckle. “No stamina.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “I think you and I both know I have plenty of stamina.”

  He blushed and ran his fingers through his hair. Removing his glasses, he slotted them into his pocket. “Come on, let’s get another round. “

  * * * *

  Six vodka and cranberries and ten shots of Jack later … the room was spinning. Adam and I had played every drinking game we knew, and I could see he was also a little tipsy, though he never did seem to get as drunk as I did. The sounds of Marvin Gaye’s “Give It Up” filled the club and leaping to my feet, I caught Adam by the hand. “Come on! We have to dance to this song. It’s my favourite song.”

  He laughed loudly. “Every song is your favourite song.”

  I pouted a little, and he quickly came to my side as we made our way onto the dance floor. It was packed with people, and all around us bodies swayed, shimmied, shook, and moved to the music. Adam placed his hands on my hips, and I began to move in time to the rhythm.

  I raised my hands in the air above my head causing my shirt to lift slightly and expose my bare skin. Adam’s fingertips grazed my hips, and I hitched a breath. I didn’t care that I had a muffin top over my jeans. All that mattered was that I was having fun and what’s more, Adam was touching me. It was wrong for me to want that. I should have stopped him, pushed him away, but as his hands slid gently up my shirt to my stomach, I couldn’t help but close my own hands over his, urging him to hold me tighter. His arms were around my waist as his hips pressed against my behind. His lips caressed my neck, and I moaned gently. I was high on the atmosphere, the booze, and heat I could feel raising between Adam’s body and mine.

  I leaned my head back onto his shoulder, exposing my neck. He nuzzled it gently with his nose before hungrily kissing and licking my collarbone. My hands swept around his neck, and I fisted his hair in my hands. His teeth skimmed my earlobe, and I bit my lip in anticipation.

  “I have to have you, Charlie.”

  Turning around, I pressed my palms against his cheeks and gazed into his eyes.

  “Take me home. Now.”

  Chapter 21

  Lifting my head from the pillow, I rubbed my sore and aching head. Light was streaming through a partially opened window across the room, and as my eyes adjusted to the light, I panicked. The memory of the night before flooded my brain. Sitting bolt upright, I scanned my surroundings. I was in my own room, and … I was alone. Confused, I swung my legs out of bed and staggered to the bathroom. I was still wearing my bra, but the rest of my clothes, including my underwear, were missing. Staring into my bathroom mirror, I winced. Oh crap. I remembered. Adam’s hands on me at the club, our frantic exit, and the countless stops we made on the way back from the apartment to grope, fondle, kiss, and almost undress one another. It was a miracle we had made it back without being arrested for being drunk and disorderly or for indecent exposure. Possibly even lewd behavior … but that’s just between you and me.

  But what happened when we got back to the apartment was a hazy blur. I remembered taking off our clothes. I remembered giggling, lots of giggling. And I remembered … I held my hand to my mouth and gasped. Oh no. I remembered everything! The sofa, the kitchen counter, the floor, and God only knows where else. I also had a vague memory of Jacob screeching and fleeing from the room, but the details were evading me.

  The sound of the kettle boiling in the kitchen caught my attention. Pulling on my work clothes, I inhaled sharply as my arm caught in my shirtsleeve. I had a carpet burn! For real? A carpet burn. I rolled my eyes and held my head in my hands. Great, Charlene. Well done. Another awkward breakfast with your best friend. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with him?

  Grabbing my jacket, I stormed out of the bedroom toward the kitchen. I was ready for a blowout confrontation, but as I approached the counter, I had the wind taken out of my sails by a sweet kiss planted on my cheek. Turning my head to face him, Adam smiled at me.

  “Morning.”

  He was beaming. He looked positively radiant with happiness … or satisfaction. I wasn’t entirely sure. Pulling out a stool, he gestured for me to sit. Watching his every move with suspicion, I lowered myself onto the seat. Why was he so chirpy? Maybe he’d forgotten what we did last night. Maybe he was a little tipsier than I’d thought. Handing me a cup of coffee, a glass of water, and some painkillers, he smiled.

  “Sleep okay?”

  I eyed him curiously. Reaching for my glass, I raised an eyebrow, cautious of what exactly his game was here.

  “I guess so … and you?”

  Leaning back against the kitchen counter with his feet crossed and a hand on the edge of the countertop, he nodded as he sipped his coffee.

  “Best night’s sleep I’ve ever had. I was pretty exhausted after—“

  I flopped my arms onto the counter and slammed my head against them.

  “Charlene, what the hell is the matter now?”

  I groaned loudly in frustration. “We had sex again! What is wrong with us? Didn’t we learn the first time? We said it wouldn’t happen again, but here we are at another awkward breakfast.”

  The corner of his mouth curved into a smile. “I don’t feel awkward. Do you?”

  And that was the strange thing; I didn’t feel awkward. I didn’t feel uncomfortable, guilty, or ashamed. Maybe when you’ve done it once, the rest kind of pales in comparison.

  “I … I don’t know what I feel like. I feel …” I couldn’t find the right words, but it didn’t matter, Adam found them for us.

  “I feel great. I feel rested, satisfied, and last night was the best sex of my life. Last time was amazing, but this time was incredible. I don’t know if it’s the connection we have already and knowing each other so well, but I really don’t think I can go without it, Charlie. So … I have a little proposition for you.”

  I picked up my coffee and sipped it, wincing a little as it burned my top lip.

  “I think we should keep having sex.”

  I spluttered my coffee all over the kitchen counter. Grabbing a towel, Adam mopped it up and continued, “Just hear me out. We have great sex. You know you can’t deny it. I’m not seeing anyone. You’re not seeing anyone, and you keep saying how sex-starved you have been for the past few years. We can stay friends. Nothing has to change we just … fuck now and then. What do you think?”

  I was lost for words. He was actually suggesting we become fuck buddies! Rounding the counter, he stood in front of me and swiveled my seat around to face him. “I know you like it, Charlene. No woman can fake that many orgasms and those sounds you make every time I touch you, I know you’re enjoying me as much as I’m enjoying you. I can make you feel sexy again. I can make you feel wanted, desirable, and help you get over those damn body hang-ups of yours. Haven’t you noticed how you kind of … let go when you’re with me? Have you been with a guy lately and actually done that? Not worry about how you look, how he thinks you look, or how anything is showing? You even keep the lights on when we’re together, and I know you don’t do that with anyone else. Think about it. You know what I’m saying is right.”

  I placed my hands on his forearms and gripped him tightly.


  “Adam, you’re crazy. We can’t just fuck one day then hang out the next. It’s not going to work. Look at how awkward things were last night.”

  He shook his head. “That was because we were still hungering after more. Once we actually set out the ground rules and make an agreement, why does anything have to be difficult or complicated?”

  He had a valid point. But we couldn’t do this! I’d only ever had this kind of arrangement once in my life, and that was with a guy who lived across the hall from me in college. It was uncomplicated as we hardly knew each other, but he was hot, and at two in the morning, both of us were available for a booty call.

  Standing abruptly, I pushed him away from me gently and shook my head. I walked to the sink and emptied my cup. Caffeine was the last thing I wanted right now. I turned around to find myself caged in by Adam. His hand stroked my thigh and his voice whispered in my ear and he leaned into me.

  “Tell me you don’t like this. Tell me that it’s not turning you on.”

  I couldn’t breathe. The effect his body, touch, and voice had on me these days was insane! Adam and I had known each other forever, and now he wasn’t just my nerdy doctor best friend, Adam. No. He was hot, sexy, sexpert, make me moan all night, Adam. I tried to calm my nerves, and I could feel my pulse beginning to race.

  “Adam, I …”

  His teeth grazed my earlobe. “Don’t deny it, Charlie, you’re body gives you away. Just give this a chance. I promise you won’t be sorry.”

  I pressed my palms down on the counter behind me and stared into his eyes. “Just sex. I don’t want anything else to change between us.”