Diary of a Dieter Read online

  Getting to my feet, I squared up to him. “That’s crazy! You’ve had girlfriends and hook-ups.”

  He shook his head fiercely. “Hardly! Every time I get close to it, something happens in your life, and I just drop everything to stop you from falling apart. Well, you know what? I’m done. You clearly don’t want or need my advice so I won’t give it to you anymore.”

  I stomped my foot and glared at him. “Don’t try and put your shit on me! It’s not my fault you strike out so much. You don’t even try. Every relationship you’ve ever had, you’ve found some fault in the girl and ended it. And you’re the one with self-esteem issues. Always hiding behind your shirt, tie, and stethoscope. You blush when you see sex on TV for crying out loud!”

  Turning, he began to walk away from me.

  “That’s right, walk away! I don’t need a father, Adam. I wanted a friend, and you see me as a project. Well, thanks so much for wasting my time for twenty years!”

  He stopped, turned, and stormed back to me. Pointing his finger in my face, I could see the fury in his eyes and the trembling tone of his voice told me he was also close to tears.

  “You are so selfish, and I am done being your keeper, Charlene. And for your information, you have never been a project. You were then, are now, and always will be the best friend I have ever had.”

  I could feel tears welling in my eyes, and Adam must have seen them too. His hand fell to his side, and his face was filled with remorse.

  “I have to go. You should get ready for your date.”

  I sniffed a little, hurt by his callous tone and confused as to what had happened between us that could cause such a rift.

  “What’s happening to us?” I tearfully asked.

  He shook his head ruefully. “I don’t know. Growing up and growing apart maybe? You said you wanted to change, and I guess I just thought I’d get the old Charlie back. Instead, you started acting so differently. You wallow a lot, you let what others think affect you, and now you’re going on dates with guys you met on the internet.”

  I placed my hand gently on his shoulder. “I’m still me. I don’t understand what’s going on.”

  He sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead with his finger and thumb. “I’m scared, Charlie. I’m scared that I’m going to lose you; that you’re losing you.”

  And there it was. Fear. I’d been changing so much about my life and myself; I’d forgotten to take care of the one thing that had always been my constant—Adam. I’d neglected our friendship.

  “I’m sorry, Adam. I really am. But you are not going to lose me. You’re stuck with me for life. I might try crazy weight loss classes and diets, but I will always be your friend. And as your friend, I can tell when you’re holding out on me.”

  He stared at the ground in silence.

  “Adam, what’s going on? You’ve been acting strange since that night you came home from work all riled. You didn’t want to talk then, but you have to talk to me sometime. What is it?”

  He slumped back against the bench. “I got a promotion at work.”

  I held my hand to my mouth and grinned. “That’s amazing! Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He shrugged. “It’s not a big deal and besides, I’m turning it down.”

  I gave him a confused look.

  “Why the hell would you do that?”

  He groaned. “The boss is a bitch. She makes my life hell! My workload has tripled and she is giving me the most awful cases. Half of my patients are terminal and a quarter are children. Charlie, do you know how heartbreaking it is to see the same kids, parents, and people walk into my office every week and know that there is almost nothing I can do to help them? It’s killing me. I’m not ready for this shit. I’ve only been a doctor for two years, and I’m still finding my feet. This has been like diving into a shark-infested tank.”

  I moved closer to him and rested my head against his shoulder. “That sucks. But if you weren’t good at your job, you wouldn’t have been promoted. Maybe she’s trying to challenge you—“

  He cut me off and scoffed at my comment. “No. She fucking hates me. She changes my work schedule, which means I work mostly in the evenings, and she is always on my case! She even stays at the office to watch me and make sure I get her damn paperwork done.”

  She changes his schedule, stays at the office and makes his life hell. I forced myself not to giggle. Adam’s problem was simple. His boss was crushing on him. Needing more information, I began questioning him.

  “Is she married? Surely she has a husband to harass?”

  He shook his head. “No. She’s the same age as me, but she got her doctorate a year before so she’s already worked her way up. You’d think it would make her a little more understanding. I mean, she was a newbie not long ago.”

  I nodded. “And I suppose she’s the really pretty type who probably flirted her way up?”

  He shook his head again. “I doubt it. Don’t get me wrong, she’s attractive, but she’s clearly got a good work ethic. Yesterday, one of the interns asked her out, and she immediately began giving him the run down on dating your superior and how unethical it is.”

  And the fact that she would rather be in your pants, I thought.

  “Well, I’m sure it will all straighten out. Maybe you could ask her to lunch one day and discuss it. If she’s the professional you say, she’ll be willing to hear you out,” I suggested.

  He raised a brow at me. “You think so?”

  I nodded enthusiastically. “Absolutely. What have you got to lose?”

  Wrapping his arm around me, he pulled me close and kissed my forehead.

  “I’ll give it a try.” He glanced at his watch. “You better get going. You have a date, remember?”

  Smiling, I jumped to my feet and immediately regretted it. My legs still hadn’t quite recovered, and as I began hobbling back over the hill, I had to lean on Adam to stop myself from falling over. I only hoped a long soak in the bath and some heat gel, might relieve my aching body before my date. I’d have hated for him to think he already had the upper hand when I stand before him and my knees literally weaken. This time, I would be cautious. My heart had been broken, and I wasn’t ready to allow another man to play with it just yet.

  Chapter 13

  Walking into the crowded restaurant, I clutched my purse in my hand tightly and bit my lip. Adam’s tirade about my search for romance was playing on my mind all afternoon. Didn’t he want me to find anyone? I mean, here I was, about to meet a drop dead gorgeous hunk, and all I could think about was Adam and his tongue-lashing! And I mean what he said, you filthy creature. Mentally reprimanding myself for allowing Adam’s words to get to me so much, my eyes scanned the entire room until they fell on a tall, blonde, knickers-dropping, tongue-unraveling hunk! James’s picture did not do him justice! He was way hotter in person! His hair had a just fucked look about it, and a little gel had clearly been used to keep it that way. He was standing beside our table a few feet away, waving me over with an enormous grin on his face.

  Trying to maintain my composure and not seem like an awkward teenager, I slowly walked over. I couldn’t stop staring at him. He was like the sun. You know you’re not supposed to look directly at it, but you enjoy the warmth of it on your skin so much that you risk the burning of your retinas. And clearly, he was blinding me. As I approached the table, I didn’t see the handbag strap that was strewn across the floor. It belonged to the woman at the table beside ours. My six-inch stiletto heel immediately tangled itself in the damn thing, and I was sent hurtling, head first, into my date.

  Reaching out with both hands, I caught the thighs of his jeans, and as I fell to the ground … so did his trousers. I was mortified. There I was, in the middle of a crowded restaurant, on a first date with a man who only knew me by what he had read in my emails, and I had just stripped him down to his boxer shorts! Perfect.

  With my eyes tightly closed, I cringed. I was still gripping his trousers when he abruptly grabbed at them
and began hurriedly pulling them up. Pushing up onto my knees, I glanced up at him, still unable to lift my head. People around us were staring, giggling, and murmuring to one another. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

  But it didn’t. Deciding to simply take the opportunity to make a quick getaway, I scrambled to my feet and turned to leave. A hand reached out and caught my wrist, spinning me around in the process.

  “You’re leaving? Were my shorts that horrendous?”

  I lifted my head and found myself gazing into two gorgeous eyes. When I say gorgeous, I don’t mean the, ‘I want to marry you, fall deep into your eyes, and make lots of babies with you’ type. Oh no. I mean the, ‘Come to bed, and I will fuck you seven ways to Sunday and then back again’ type of eyes. They practically screamed it, and my body was more than willing to accept the invitation!

  Shaking my head, I bit my lip anxiously.

  “Not at all. They’re very nice. I’ve always been a Calvin Klein fan.”

  He gave a deep and throaty chuckle. “Well, glad all the awkwardness is out of the way. Feel like staying for dinner? Or did you get enough to eat when you landed in my crotch?”

  I almost died. My mouth agape, I stuttered and stammered. I didn’t have an answer for that. I wasn’t a prude, and I was certainly no virgin, but he was so … brash. It excited me. Tilting my head, I smiled. “I have a big appetite, I think I could manage a little more.”

  Laughing, he pulled out my chair for me and gestured for me to sit. Placing my purse on the table, I carefully held my little black dress in place and slid myself in. James leaned into my ear. “I’m glad you have a big appetite. I have a lot worth eating.”

  My eyes widened, but I tried to hide my obvious embarrassment. I was sure I must have been blushing because my cheeks were on fire. Sitting opposite me, he grinned, and I realised he was enjoying making me feel so flustered. Straightening myself out, I smiled back.

  He reached a hand across the table and took mine. His thumb brushed the back of my knuckles gently. “I’d ask you all about your job, family, and all the boring shit people talk about on a first date, but after all those emails, I feel like I already know you. So, why don’t you take a little time to ask me things?”

  I gave him a surprised look. A guy who actually wanted to talk about himself? Was he gay?

  “And no, I’m not gay if that’s what you were thinking.”

  I cleared my throat. How did he do that? This man had to be the slickest, hottest, smoothest guy I had ever met. His crisp white shirt was slightly unbuttoned and also a little tight. It was clearly intentional as I could see every curve and flex of his muscular chest. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, but the dark lines of his tattoo were visible through the sheer cotton. I squirmed in my seat. I hadn’t had sex in months, and the sex with Brad wasn’t exactly thrilling. I had a feeling that James was a wild cat in the sack.

  The waiter brought over a bottle of red, and James quickly poured me a glass. Picking his up, he raised it in the air and encouraged me to do the same.

  “To first dates with gorgeous redheads.”

  I grinned. “And to burying my face in a hot guy’s crotch.”

  He laughed lightly and took a long sip of his drink. I set my glass down and smiled sweetly. Deciding to play my hand and make my intentions known, I got a little flirty and dirty.

  “So, how big is your ego, exactly?” I teased.

  He gave me a playful smile and set his glass down, stroking the stem. “Huge. Some might say I’m cocky and a little hard to be around. But, I haven’t had any complaints so far.”

  Well played.

  “I see. Well, personally, I think there’s nothing wrong with a woman stroking a man’s ego now and then. It can really deepen a relationship.”

  His smile widened. “Yes, it can. I certainly like it deep. I mean, you don’t want it to choke you, but you want it to be meaningful and ultimately fulfilling. Happy endings for all is my belief.”

  I was beginning to squirm. “Agreed. And who doesn’t enjoy the thrill of a brand spanking new adventure with a new partner?”

  Now James was blushing. Clearing his throat, he shifted in his seat. Bingo.

  “I’m suddenly extremely ravenous, Charlene. Are you hungry?”

  I nodded and bit my lip. Reaching across the table, I gripped his collar. “I want another taste of the appetizer I sampled at the beginning of this evening.”

  Grabbing my hand, he stood and pulled me toward the door, never saying a word. He quickly handed the hostess a fifty before pulling the door open and leading me to a nearby taxi. I giggled uncontrollably. I hadn’t been this excited, turned on, or overwhelmingly horny in such a long time. Sliding into the taxi, James tugged on my hand to urge me inside. The moment the door closed behind us, his hands were all over me. Clawing at the back of my dress, palming my breast, his lips hungrily took my own in a deep and sensual kiss. Holy hell! This was hot!

  Murmuring into my mouth, he grabbed my hand and pressed it to his bulging crotch.

  “Where? Your place or mine?”

  I thought for a moment. Adam would be working all night, and the apartment was only two blocks from where we were. Leaning forward and tearing myself away from James, I knocked on the partition glass.

  “Where to, love birds?” the driver sarcastically threw back over his shoulder.

  “West Street. Just opposite the Carpenter’s Arms.”

  Nodding, the driver set off and began to run the meter.

  James pulled me back into his arms and slid his hand sleekly up my thigh. I was glad I’d decided on suspenders and stockings over my big girl tights after all. This was going better than I could have ever imagined. His fingers played along the lace at the top of my stocking and a grin spread across his face as his tongue darted into my mouth. God, I was hot! I was practically convulsing with lust!

  As we pulled up outside my apartment, I fumbled for my keys as James tossed a twenty to the driver. I pushed the car door open and totted over to my front porch, hurriedly opening the door as James pressed his body against mine behind me. His solid erection was pressed against my behind and I was desperate to put it to some good use. We tripped, giggled, and fondled our way up the stairs and finally into my place. Gripping him by the shirt, I kicked off my shoes and pulled him toward the bedroom. He unbuttoned his shirt en route and quickly cast it aside as we entered my room. It was dark and only the small amount of light from the street lamp outside my window lit the room. I stood back and gazed at James. He was Adonis!

  Rushing at me, he spun me around and unzipped my dress, before pushing it over my shoulders and hips in a frenzy. I stood before him, in my black lacy underwear, and I was glad for the darkness. Darkness hid all the unsightly wobbly bits. Okay, so he would feel them soon enough, but I figured he’d be too wrapped up in his ecstasy by then to care. His hand grasped my ass, and he smacked it gently. I let out a small yelp and turned abruptly, unbuttoning his jeans as my lips explored his muscular and perfectly toned chest. He let out a soft moan, and I melted. Pushing him onto the bed, I whipped off his jeans and straddled him. All that remained between us were his shorts and my knickers, and I was sure he’d be taking them off soon. His thumbs hooked inside the elastic at my waist as his hands urged me to rock against him. I was coming undone with how much I needed my orgasm. I couldn’t remember the last time I had experienced a truly mind-blowing, toe-curling, breathtaking, and heart pounding orgasm.

  Breathing heavily, he panted into my ear.

  “Where’s the bathroom?”

  I gave him a puzzled look, but quickly pointed toward my en suite. Shifting me from his lap, he disappeared into the bathroom. I quickly adjusted myself and tried to look … alluring … for when he returned. When he did, he had a small tube and a condom in his hand. Grinning, he made his way over to me and pressed me against the mattress. His hands slid down my body to my underwear and slowly, he pulled them off. If I hadn’t been cloaked in darkness, Ja
mes would have seen the deep shade of crimson I was now sporting across my face. I couldn’t see what he was doing as I was now staring at the ceiling, but I was sure I heard his shorts drop followed by the sound of foil tearing. What came after was surprising. A squirting sound, and I began to wonder what that tube was. My wonderings soon disappeared as suddenly, James thrust inside me. I gasped. He was huge and I was in shock. I’d forgotten how good sex could feel. It didn’t have to be robotic or rehearsed. It could be spontaneous, sensual, passionate, and downright rampant!

  Rocking his hips back and forth, James moaned, groaned, and panted in my ear. My hands gripped at his back. I could feel every part of me tightening. Tightening and … opening my eyes, I furrowed my brow. James continued to plunge in and out but his thrusts were becoming slower, more forceful and … sticky!

  “Uh, James?”

  He groaned slightly as though trying desperately to continue his movements, but he soon halted and not out of choice.

  “Charlene, I think … I think I’m stuck!”

  Trying desperately to scoot myself up the bed and push him away from me, I gasped. “What kind of condom are you using?” I yelled.

  He shook his head and yelped as I kicked against his thighs trying to separate us. He just wouldn’t budge!

  “Just your average store bought box-of-three type. They’re a little bit dry sometimes, but I found some lube in your cabinet.”

  I shook my head in confusion. “What lube? I don’t have any lube.”

  He groaned loudly as he tried to pull out of me, but it didn’t get us anywhere. I was beginning to feel the burn of chafing, and I assumed he must have been, too.

  “Sure you do. It was in your cabinet next to your birth control in that half circle case thing.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t use birth contr—“

  I gasped loudly and held my hand over my mouth in horror.

  “Oh my, God, no! James, that’s denture glue! Those are my grans’s dentures! Not the fucking pill! Jesus Christ, you just shoved a shit load of dental-fix into my hooha!”